Weakness

A/N: WARNING. BBL/HOLIDAY STAR SPOILERS.

Sitting down at his desk, Iwamine Shuu let out a long, stressful sigh as one of his patients left the office. Not just any patient, though. His patient was Kawara Ryouta. It was stressful having to see the young man, especially since he came in almost every day because of his sensitive stomach. Everything about Ryouta haunted him. He looked just like him – his former lab partner Kawara Ryuuji. Everything about Ryouta reminded Shuu of Ryuuji, especially his eyes. Those piercing red eyes taunted him. It was his favourite part of Ryuuji’s appearance. The red stood out from all the different shades of grey in Ryuuji’s face. It was so beautiful, yet so fierce.

The man haunted his dreams every night. His dreams felt so real, like he was really back in the lab with Ryuuji. Shuu would be working while Ryuuji would talk to him about his life or he’d always invite him to dinner. Shuu let out one of his infamous chuckles and put his head in his hands. Ryuuji was the most important thing in his life – yet, he also ruined it. Shuu was never the same after Ryuuji’s tragic death. It was something that would haunt him until he joined his only friend in the afterlife.

Shuu looked down at his personal calendar on his desk and noticed that today was an important day. It was the day Ryuuji died. Shuu looked back to the door in the back of the infirmary. The door led to his “experiment room.” He looked back down at the calendar. Shuu decided that he would take off one day from his experiments and go visit his beloved friend. He gathered his things and made sure to lock the room in the back of the infirmary. As he opened the door leading to the hallway, he was greeted by a sleepy blond.

“Ah, Shuu-chan. Do you mind if I use the infirmary to take a nap before I head home? I’m awfully tired,” the sleepy blond Nanaki chuckled softly, a yawn following right after.

Shuu glared at Nanaki. He had no time for the “innocent” narcoleptic’s games. Shuu knew why he wanted to take a nap in the infirmary. He knew Nanaki was going to snoop around his stuff.

“No,” Shuu simply said, walking past the blond man and locking the infirmary door. As Shuu walked away, he heard a loud thud. He didn’t even bother to turn around to look at the pathetic teacher asleep on the floor. He had more important things to do.

During his walk, Shuu gripped onto the tie around his neck. It wasn’t really his – it was Ryuuji’s. The older scientist had given it to him as a birthday gift a while back ago. He didn’t really know what to get Shuu, but during one of their conversations, he complimented Ryuuji’s tie, so he gave him the tie. Shuu gripped onto the tie tighter, stuck in his memories. He felt tears prick his eyes, but he shook them away. He had no time for tears. The man was dead and he should get over it. After all, he’s experienced witnessing many deaths in his life. Why should Ryuuji be any different?

Shuu was so caught up in his thoughts; he almost passed the cemetery where Ryuuji was buried. Shuu turned around and walked through the gates. He walked down a cement path, looking at all the graves as he went. He simply couldn’t find Ryuuji’s grave and it was really starting to irritate him.

A couple minutes later, he finally came upon a grave marked “Kawara Ryuuji.” Slowly, he walked up to the gravestone. He knelt before it and started at the stone for a couple of seconds. Shuu touched the stone, ignoring the icy coldness of the surface invading his fingertip’s warmth.

“Sir, it’s me, Isa,” Shuu said after looking around to make sure no one was listening.

“It’s been a while since we last talked, hasn’t it?”

No response. Shuu felt his heart sank. It was usually Ryuuji talking to the brunette first, but now Shuu had to start and hold up the one-sided conversation.

“Your son comes to see me almost every day at the infirmary. His stomach bothers him almost daily, but I make sure to take good care of him – just for you.”

Shuu hung his head as a response to the silence. The silence was killing Shuu on the inside. He so desperately wanted to hear the older man’s response. He needed to hear Ryuuji respond. Every second of silence was like a knife piercing through Shuu’s body. It hurt the doctor so deeply. He never noticed how hard Ryuuji’s death had hit him until now.

“Sir, please say something,” Shuu croaked out. He was finding it hard to speak and tears stung his eyes. He didn’t try to shake them away this time.

Silence.

“Sir, you always talk. Why are you so silent now?” Shuu asked, a stressed laugh escaping through his lips. His eyes went wide and a crazed smile appeared on his face. Tears were now streaming out of his eyes.

“Sir, I regret putting work before you. I should have spent as much time with you as possible outside of work. Maybe then, we could have died together from that horrible illness you caught on that trip,” Shuu yelled the last sentence, looking up at the gravestone. He was gripping onto the dirt beneath his hands.

Shuu completely regretted not going on that one trip with Ryuuji. He thought everything would be okay and that Ryuuji would return to work all joyous and happy like he usually did. But no, real life has no happy endings. Life wanted to torture Shuu more than it already has. Life had given him his only friend and then snatched him away just as quickly as it had given.

Shuu finally gave up his strength and pride and wailed loudly by Ryuuji’s grave. No matter how hard he cried, he would never get a response from his only friend. Kawara Ryuuji was Shuu’s only weakness, and life made sure to take advantage of that weakness.